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About Deviant Member ScarsAreBeautifulFemale/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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It's 1:47 AM here - and my recent breakup is crippling me so I just can't seem to go to sleep. I would call a friend but I am too nice to fuck with anyone's sleep no matter how close they may be. So if you're okay with a talk, just reply here or send me a note.  It would mean the world to me. :)
Love has gone
but my stomach still
is filled with
always screaming,
crawling, craving,
wanting so much
to be free.
These butterflies hurt me,
bite my insides at times
but tickle
and make me laugh as well.
Sometimes they help me bear
the sheer pain
of being alive.
My heart is not worth
the beauty of this world,
it is not worth the butterflies
it is trying too hard
to trap inside.
But the butterflies,
they help me see
better dreams
in which
he is dancing,
full of love
and promises.
I would let go
of these butterflies today,
I would ask them
to run for their freedom
and dance with the flowers
made for them
but I need them so much
to keep me alive.
And butterflies
are always better
than stones residing
in the heart
and when these butterflies
start to die,
I will always know I tried,
I tried.
I will know I lived
just to be able to
keep them alive.
And when these butterflies
start to die,
I will not cry,
I will still try
and heal my bruises
with their dead, broken,
pretty wings.
Burn, burn, burn
and burn the patches
of your love.
Fly away,
all this
is over,
And I am always kind of
crying to
the sound of the
always resting my feet
in hope
a bird will sit on it
a while.
Blood is everywhere -
blood is nowhere -
blood is needed
in my eyes
to show
that this day
is the only way
to let go.
Cry, die, try,
This is not the way
life should be
but blood is
and you are nowhere,
not even in the room
we made love in
over a thousand times.
Your eyes burn me
with the desire to
be alive,
your eyes burn the rope
I am holding on to
to not fall
from this height
of derision,
that happened between you and me
but it also happened
long ago
once upon a fucking time.
I want to fuck you,
possess you,
consume you -
but it aches
even to see you
in sight.
Cut fingers, cut ties,
cut sleeves, cut papers
and kites
and burn them all -
lay bare forever,
look at the sky
and hope to see
the sign
that life
Wanting you,
craving you
with all its biology,
the way you crave
for him.
I want to run,
then die
then wake up
to run again.
Sleep is proof
of how short
a death can be,
like an orgasm,
you reach the highest
state of being
then come to earth,
pouring your sorrows in
a fucking glass of wine.
And I burn
love again,
live again,
kill and hurt
and run again
and again.
And 'again' is
the only constant thing,
a way to bind all our
existing in different
instances in time.
Burn again,
love again,
and run
and again
never again.
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes)
seep within me love,
fill me with
the unknown world
that you are a part of.
i do not know you
but i do know that
your touch is all
i need right now.
help me live,
help me breathe
in breathlessness.
he left me
so you could
all the places
that he stained.
remove those stains,
remove them
with your tongue,
with your blood,
remove them with
the tears in my eyes.
fuck me
and lie to me,
say that
you love me
and tell me
i am beautiful.
nail me down
and scratch me
and bite me,
make me bleed
and pull my hair
and tell me
you will
die without me.
lie and lie
and lie away
to give this fuck
a rhythm of its own.
and tell me
you do not care
that my old lover
is always somewhere
between these sheets,
between my heartbeats,
between the ticks
of the clock
on my wall.
i need you,
but i know you not
this is but
a random act
of kindness:
you lie inside of
seep some life in
i am dying
without him.
your tongue, oh stranger,
it does miracles,
it makes me
forget him
for a second,
a minute,
a while.
he is in the
air of my room,
in my smell
that you breathe
but you are the king
who is conquering me,
oh beautiful stranger.
please also conquer
some of his memories:
tickle me with his beard,
and hold me with his hands,
stay inside me
and repeat his name
a thousand times.
i hope that you won't care
when i call you by his name,
i love him no more,
i just say his name
because it rhymes
with the death and
end of time.
look out the window,
the sun still shines
and the moon still shines,
they lie in harmony
side by side
yet they belong to
different worlds
just like the two of us.
i belong to his
and you belong to hers
but this moment is all about
trying to belong
to our very own
serpent selves.
you cry, i cry,
and no one listens
but i want you
to come inside
and give me
some of your life
and take some of
my own.
because the moments
are fleeting,
and i am dying
and he is nowhere
to be
except between these sheets
and between my heartbeats
and the ticks of the clock
on my wall.
and there is still
some twinkle in my eye,
stay with me,
fuck me,
keep this twinkle
that he birthed
so very alive,
always alive.
And I feel dead on the inside but I know it was the right thing to do. I haven't written this much poetry in a while. So I guess that's good.

Seriously, nothing but pure love and hugs required here fellow deviants, and little talk here and there.
Sometimes, the moment a dream is materialised, it tends to lose its beauty. For it no longer remains a dream but becomes a concrete reality. Once a dream that was trapped in a dream enters the real world - it is no longer sheltered or protected, the moment it enters the real world, it is surrounded by threats, and people, and you constantly need to look out for it. Once the dream enters the real world, it no longer remains perfect - you realise its limitations, its boundaries, and above all, its cost.

Perhaps, sometimes, it is best for dreams to not come true. This way, they will always remain pure and perfect and true.

Do I sound like a crazy person?

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Bexica Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2010  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave on 'Wishful Thinking' x
fzkhatri Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010
Thank You! :heart:
RichardLeach Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2010   Traditional Artist
Thanks for the blues fave a few days ago, Farah! I am behind on messages but grateful!
bowie-loon123 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2010  Student Writer
ScarsAreBeautiful Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2010
HEY. OH MY GOD. :glomp:
How are you my long lost sis?!
Aadea Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2010
roovel Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
Welcome back. am not much around. Mainly group management and that even is getting low on list in comparison to real life activities. I ve been fine, hope all is well on your side. Thanks for your little comment.
RichardLeach Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2010   Traditional Artist
Fave thanks, Farah! :hug:
LauraTringaliHolmes Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2010
Thank you so much for the Life Is collage fave! :heart:
partiallyHere Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010
thanks Farah :heart: :thanks:
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